I previously illustrated the need to stick to our goals for an extended period of time. But at what point should we call it quits?
Marriage vows are typically until death. That’s a huge commitment! What if the marriage starts out bad? What if “for better, for worse” seems to be all “worse”? Do you hold out hoping things will get better? What if your spouse gets a mental illness and can no longer remember you?
Children are also a long term commitment. While they eventually fly the coop, you can’t divorce your children during the “terrible twos” or “turbulent teens”. They are yours regardless of personality type, stature, learning ability, disabilities etc.
Most people accept the long term nature of these relationships without question. Careers are a bit more fuzzy. We no longer live in a world where the norm is to work a single job for most of your life and collect a gold watch at the end. These jobs are disappearing fast, although not extinct. The military is a prime example. Twenty years of honorable service will earn a pension with benefits.
A friend recently noted that getting out of the military after 18 years is stupidity, not fear. But what about 15 years? How about 10? Is it smart to leave after 8? Where do you draw the line?
If you have been driving for any length of time in a major city, chances are you have unintentionally traveled along a toll road. These roads tend to produce a sense of imprisonment, a feeling of one way in and one way out.
Toll roads do have an evident advantage, they get the traveler to an alternate destination in a fraction of the time. But there is a cost. It won’t necessarily pay for itself by traveling only an exit or two, after all “both the hasty and the slow meet at the ferry.”
In life, sometimes we get on proverbial toll roads. It could be a career, it could be a relationship. Perhaps it’s getting out of debt or even parole or jail time. Some things in life are better to commute via toll. They are intended to be a long grind. Since cutting corners will only add time, just pay the price. Spring always follows winter, even if the winter seems long. Too often we quit. We treat the long game as if it wasn’t nature’s way. We walk out of a marriage as if it was a boring movie. We quit a job as if we were changing channels during a commercial break. Someone is always selling you a dream that the grass is greener elsewhere…and let’s be honest, sometimes it is. But let’s stay honest, usually it’s not. Why pay for that dream when you can just pay the toll for the road you are already so far along?
The Challenge: Consider your long term goals and needs. Identify how these can be achieved. You only have one life to live so don’t take too long. Now, pull the trigger. Let the bullet fly. Let it do its thing. Get on that toll road and don’t look back. Be patient, you won’t find any rest stops. It won’t be very scenic. The weather might be hazardous and the air polluted. You might nod off at the wheel. Your butt will get tired, your legs cramped. Food will not be gourmet. The radio will have static. You will feel bored and sometimes lonely. Most important, there are people driving next to you. They will cause frustration and sometimes fender benders. You will have to lay on your horn. You might get a flat tire and squish some bunnies along the way. When you unbuckle that seat belt it will have all been worth it. You will wonder why so many others choose to sit in traffic.